Since you left this physical plane.
I found your old diaries today. Reading things through your perspective was a blessing — I wish I had been able to do it sooner. There was so much longing in you. Such a desire to transcend the awkwardly concentrated existence you chose and find true love. It was heartbreaking to read as they neglected you, as the can opener met something it couldn’t crack. I have had a couple of relationships, one healthy, one not — and for that, I thank you. Because you were able to channel all that negligence and heartbreak into nothing but love for me. Because I was able to learn quickly what it took you a lifetime to do. Because I could hear it all in every syllable you spoke.
You battled so hard in this world. You had so much to overcome. The traps of the past, the independence you had to declare, and the soul of you that shone through poverty and the unrequited desire.
I need to let you know a few things.
That I am, as always, appreciative that we picked each other. We both know the inner curses and torments, and together we will continue to work to overcome them. To self-actualize ourselves.
That your knack for serendipity cannot be questioned. You know just the right time to introduce me to things — am I starting to find my spiritual compass now? I am so happy that you continue to lurk in my mind. So happy that you are my guardian angel as you lay in wait.
That I will do all I can to watch for her as well. Both the one that I know, and the one that I don’t.
And most of all…
That I always felt this.
And I can’t wait for you to come back so I can teach you all I’ve learned. We’ll repeat this dance until peace is earned.




