Hacky Sack: Jay Cutler
Jay, as one of the players who helped me smite Matt and BFD and others in Fantasy Football, I feel compelled to tell you that I often thought about trading you and starting Aaron Rodgers. You know why Jay? Because I live in the real world.
See, Jay. In “trades”, people think about trading players who have a high value for other players that they think have a high value. By extension, this means you are thought highly of by two teams: the one that thinks you are valuable enough to deal, and the one that thinks you are valuable enough to trade other things for. Now, instead of taking this as a compliment on your skills and remembering that football is a business, you have chosen option B: crying like a little bitch about every little thing the Broncos have ever done to upset you.
I know a few diabetics Jay, it’s a tough disease to live with. It impacts your whole life to a certain extent, and it requires vigilance and attention. I know more than a few people who have chosen not to date diabetics, solely for the reason that they are then marrying themselves to an up-and-down situation that can often require special treatment. When it was learned that you had diabetes, the Broncos bent over backwards to accommodate you. Instead of being grateful for this, you are whiny.
Now, I’m not going to go all Florio on you. I’m not going to call you a locker room cancer, or say that you signed a contract and they have a lot of money invested in you and that this could decrease your future earnings. No Jay, I am calling you out because you are being completely illogical. First of all, for someone who went to Vanderbilt, you sure don’t seem to know much about how the sports world works. The proper reaction to stop people from making up trade rumors about you is silence. No smoke, no reason for there to be a fire.
Instead, you have come out bawling. Jim Bates isn’t here! My quarterbacks coach left! Brandon Marshall get suspended too much! I need a new juice box! All this has done is make more people think it is inevitable that you’ll leave, which then makes Josh McDaniels and his crew think “well we don’t want him to leave while we get nothing”, which in turn leads newspaper/internet writers to think “hey, Jay Cutler is available! Lets make up landing spots for him!”
Instead, might I suggest a new tact: realizing that you are not the only person on the planet. You are alienating your fan base, you are pissing off a team that invested heavily in you, and by doing both of those things, you’re only making the trade rumors continue to swirl. It’s situations like this that truly separate the fan from the player. You have one of the best jobs in the world, you are probably financially set for life, and you’re still pouting and moping like a ten-year-old every time something doesn’t go your way. Grow up, Jay Cutler. Your onfield success is very lightly tied to these people you mope about, and might I add, your onfield success has never taken you to the playoffs with these people.